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SPOOF MOVIE LISTINGS AND LIES
LISTINGS -1-2-3 / FEATURES -1-2

A MUPPET CITIZEN KANE
Multimillionaire newspaper magnate Kermit Frog Kane dies speaking a single word: 'Gonzo'. Reporter Fozzie Bear uncovers the startling life of the tadpole turned press baron, from junior Sesame Street reporter to flustered variety show host. But who, or what, is 'Gonzo'? Features all your moth-eaten marionette favourites.

HONEY, I SHOT UP A HIGH SCHOOL
Zany comedy in which Rick Moranis, driven insane by his repeated failures as an inventor, buys an automatic rifle and exacts bloody revenge upon the local community, all the while smeared from head to toe in his own faeces. Co-starring James Earl Jones as Those Infernal Voices In His Head.

HOMECOMING CHEERLEADER PROM QUEEN PAGEANT
Vacuous teen fare. A ridiculously good-looking and over-developed high school girl goes from being viciously unpopular to fawningly popular, and begins dating a chinless boy, all on account of winning a low-standard talent contest. Starring someone who looks like Britney Spears, but apparently isn't. 		MY NAME IS THE SAME AS WHAT YOUR NAME IS
Clumsy farce in which two men inexplicably swap lives on account of having the same name. You'd think their family and friends would notice something was up, but in this crazy comedy you'd be plum wrong. Starring Martin Short as Mal Peachy and Danny Glover as Mal Peachy.

LOOK AT MY HILARIOUS TALKING DOG
Cuba Gooding Jnr becomes the darling of the after dinner speaking circuit when he adopts an Alsatian that can talk. But hilarity turns to tragedy when the dog literally chews Gooding's face off. Contains scenes of a former Oscar winner panhandling for ill-advised movie roles.

TWO SHOOTERS GOT MARRIED
Cockney gangster rom-com in which a pair of sawn-off shotguns fall in love in a leafy London suburb. Written by Richard Curtis, directed by Guy Ritchie, and starring Vinnie Jones as Winchester, Madonna as Browning, and Rupert Everett as gay Beretta.

THE FAUCET CONSPIRACY
US terrorist drama previously postponed due to its eerie similarities with the events of 9/11. A dastardly Brit (Alan Rickman) plans to replace US words like 'diaper' and 'vacation' with their proper English equivalents. Does Vin Diesel have the mental capacity to stop him? Out in two weeks a fortnight.
Cameron Diaz

Occupation
Costermonger
Date of birth
30/08/1947
Location
San Taclaus CA
Fave Hat
Pork Pie

Biography:
Plucky Cameron Diaz always dreamed of being famous, so she would no longer have to ride buses with common people. She enjoys drawing icosahedrons on the back of envelopes, and extravagant showbiz flouncage.

Filmography:
Marriage Of My More Better Friend ... Kelly Cigarstand
It Has Something On Mary ...Mary Wideface
Charlie's Angles ... Natalie Hypotenuse
Shriek ... Princess Hotdogs
Vanilla Pie ... Susie Wollobong
Gangs Of Roast Pork ... Jenny Distractingloveinterest


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* Chevy Chase claims still famous, just can't buy lunch

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